“Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway.” — Mother Theresa (1910-1997) Catholic Nun & Humanitarian
This week a client asked me what I felt was the most important quality of a successful leader. My response was authenticity because, like a knife, it can cut through undiscussed issues, opening up conversations and making a lot of other problems solvable. Many leaders unfortunately pervert the concept of authenticity, using it as justification to rip into people and ideas without making themselves vulnerable. My client asked me how I’d define authenticity in a simple and succinct way since it’s so often misunderstood. The first thing that came to mind was it’s the capacity to be confidently vulnerable. As I thought about it for a few days, that definition really nailed it for me.
Consider this:
Too often we think of authenticity as the words that come out of our mouths. But before it’s ever words, it’s a mindset. It starts with a realization that everyone’s in the same boat. We’ve all got insecurities. By coming to grips with this fact we gain the confidence to be vulnerable because we realize we’ve got nothing to hide. We own our doubts and fears and don’t feel ashamed of them. This doesn’t mean we share them with everyone, it just means we’re not afraid to share them. And when they don’t scare us anymore, they lose their power over us. The result is that we find our greatest strength, paradoxically, hiding behind our greatest fears.
Try this:
- Think of an issue you’re having with another person, a group, or a project.
- What role have you played in creating the situation? Have you said something, failed to say something, done something, or failed to do something? (it’s always one of these 4).
- Realize that by recognizing your role it loosens its grip on you and you gain power.
- Share it with others involved in the issue as a way to get unstuck and make progress (they’ll often share theirs as well).
- Always remember authenticity starts with a confident vulnerability.
— Doug Sundheim is a leadership consultant, author, and speaker. His book on Smart Risk-Taking is due out in 2012.
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