“If you’re not confused, you’re not paying attention.” — Tom Peters, Best selling author & management guru
One of my clients, a successful 40-year veteran in the insurance business, is a master at using confusion to his advantage. 75% of what comes out of his mouth are questions to clarify something. It’s like watching an episode of Columbo. When we chatted about his style, he explained it this way. “I definitely do it to get people to open up, but it’s more than that. I genuinely don’t know the answers to most of the questions I ask. I think too many people pretend they know things that they don’t – because they don’t want to look foolish. What they often fail to realize is that they’re killing opportunities to learn in the process.
Consider this:
While it can be uncomfortable at times, confusion is very useful. It shows the gaps in your understanding – and opportunities to learn. Don’t shy away from it. Get inquisitive. Ask questions. Use it to get smarter. Furthermore, realize that if you’re confused, it’s likely that others are as well. And sometimes sharing your confusion is an effective way to open powerful and productive conversations.
Try This:
1. The next time you feel perplexed about a situation, share it with someone.
2. Ask for their thoughts (people love to be asked for their opinions).
3. Listen closely for something you might be missing.
4. Repeat frequently. There’s no use doing all the thinking yourself – it takes too long and you only get one opinion.
— Doug Sundheim is a leadership consultant, author, and speaker. His book on Smart Risk-Taking is due out in 2012.
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